yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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