Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
