That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
