you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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