3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
