What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My liver just had a heart attack.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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