I think I am morally bankrupt
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
