Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
