Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
