Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
