His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize