Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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