i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
