i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
