Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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