your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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