Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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