Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Win!

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  (334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender. (205): Win! http://tfl.nu/0n6n
  Replies (12) Good night (5123) Bad night (654)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him

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  (631): Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him http://tfl.nu/sdh3
  Replies (53) Good night (5390) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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  (678): he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people. http://tfl.nu/q5y8
  Replies (33) Good night (806) Bad night (3492) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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  (415): I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home. http://tfl.nu/qs9s
  Replies (12) Good night (2836) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

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  (703): So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh? http://tfl.nu/suo6
  Replies (34) Good night (972) Bad night (4804)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.

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  (404): The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/retd
  Replies (42) Good night (5771) Bad night (1204) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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  (217): This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates. http://tfl.nu/zki5
  Replies (2) Good night (2262) Bad night (1922) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.

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  (314): Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good. http://tfl.nu/kvkg
  Replies (12) Good night (3093) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.

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  (775): Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form. http://tfl.nu/2bqh
  Replies (4) Good night (1445) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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  (519): I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI. http://tfl.nu/5z2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1826) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

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  (905): today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag http://tfl.nu/a7zv
  Replies (5) Good night (1463) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

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  (719): There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans. http://tfl.nu/qyi6
  Replies (5) Good night (473) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry

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  (585): shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry http://tfl.nu/7vhr
  Replies (0) Good night (218) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...

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  (44): Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms... http://tfl.nu/mf8r
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (148) Order T-Shirt

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