It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?