hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
