I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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