..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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