She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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