$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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