i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
