So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
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I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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