I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
