I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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