It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
