he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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