youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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