Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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