hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
