Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
