Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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