she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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