dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
