I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life