awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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