I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
