Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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