What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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