It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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