Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.