I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.