..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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