JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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