White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
