great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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