i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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