just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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