community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
