Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
