never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
