just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
