Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
