So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm getting married
To pizza
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
