We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
