Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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