dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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