highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
