So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
