Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
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The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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