Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize